Taking Mental Time Off, Too

A day off does little good if your work-brain is still "on"

When I started working weekends hosting WXXI’s Weekend Edition, I struggled a bit with taking time off. But in the past month, I’ve gotten better at it — insisting that I must walk the walk when it comes to self-care.

All of my work is extremely meaningful to me. Much of it is a part of me.

So even when I manage to take a day off — which I am doing, by the way, every Monday — it can be a tall order for me to stop thinking about work.

I began asking around, and it seems that many of my friends also think about work, even during their time off. I suspect this has at least somewhat to do with work-at-home culture, which changed for so many (including my wife) at the start of COVID.

That’s not an excuse for me, however; with few exceptions, I’ve always worked from home.

How useful is “downtime,” anyhow, if we’re busy going through our deadline-driven assignments and upcoming meetings inside our heads?

Not very.

This troubles me, especially given my sometimes-relentless propensity to think (sometimes monomaniacally) about “work.”

So I’m trying to collect ideas for letting that shit go.

Of course, one could always binge The L Word: Generation Q. Which I may or may not have recently done, insisting that it’s downtime to watch TV.

And it’s not not downtime to do that. I’m personally a big fan of the tube (and the lesbians on the tube). TV is something to talk about with your friends and frenemies, and it’s a way to escape the rigamarole of everyday life.

So as long as I’m honest with myself, that streaming provides an escape — rather than acts as a soul-replenishing respite — I’m good. Bring on Jennifer Beals!

But I tend to think (and I am pretty sure you’d agree) that in addition to TV, we could also stand to actually refuel — and in doing so, reset our tired brains.

Friends, I want to be honest: I’m not that great at this. And so I took to Google, and to some of my text threads with my brilliant friends and family. And here are some tools I came up with (some of which I already do … huzzah! … and some of which I intend to weave into my time off).

• Talk to someone else (but preferably not a colleague) about your work concerns, and then, for accountability, tell them you are going to let it go for the rest of the day. Moore and I used to have this funny thing where we’d mime throwing anxiety or frustration away (for some reason, we always said we were throwing it to Orange County … sorry to those of you in the OC).

• If you’re stressing because you didn’t finish something fairly simple at work (like sending an email or saving a document) — and if that action would genuinely take less than 5 or 10 minutes — there are many who believe you should just do it, even on your day off. I’m on the fence on this one. On one hand, I can totally see how finishing an almost-complete task would feel like a relief, but we need to make sure we’re really truly just dipping in and out. Otherwise, we will elongate having “work brain.” So I’d say use this one as an exception, rather than a rule.

• Focus on something else. I mean, duh, right? Obviously, that’s the goal. But I tend to find there are specific hobbies and actions that require full attention. I started taking a tap dance class on Wednesday evenings, and that is an example of something that requires 100% focus. I’ve also recently gotten into taking Peloton classes when I’m at the Y, mostly because they have Broadway-themed classes! What else can you incorporate into your off-time that will demand you pay full attention?

• This one I really like, and I fully intend to do moving forward: Schedule in “work worry time.” Maybe it’s a regular appointment in your calendar. Think of it like a bucket list you might make when you’re on a meeting and something off-topic comes up, so you jot it down for later. If you do this with scheduled worry time, then when something occurs to you, you can jot it down, too (maybe in the notes section of your Google calendar event). I have an OCD mind sometimes, and jotting things down helps me a lot to not fixate on them. I know there’s a catch-all waiting for me later, when I have the time.

• Meditate, even for a few minutes, regularly. This is always something I want to procrastinate because, ironically, of how busy I am. But each time I force myself to sit down and even spend two minutes breathing with my eyes closed, focusing on nothing but the breath, I feel better throughout the day. Each time! It gives me a mental place to go back to throughout the day.

Lastly, know that this will be an ongoing journey. Some days will be better than others in terms of being able to let go. And that’s cool, right? We’re each (well, many of us) doing the best we can.

As cliche (and sort of morbid) as it is, sometimes I imagine how it might feel to be at the end of my life, looking back. I spent a great deal of my life buried in anxiety, and even though my work is indeed a part of me, that doesn’t mean I (or you!) need to let my (or your!) anxiety rule my (or your!) life.

In other words: Werk it, girl … but don’t keep working it. Take a goddamn break.

xo,

jazz

P.S. Here are my latest stories for WXXI:

Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what heavy metals you’re gonna get

Feeling left out this Valentine’s Day? This yoga teacher wants you to open your heart

And don’t miss my Our Hen House interview with Josh and Wendy Smith, who run a farmed animal sanctuary, Odd Man Inn, in Tennessee! It’s a fascinating story, truly. Listen on your favorite podcatcher.